The 3 Best Meals I’ve Ever Had While Getting Stabbed in the Shoulder

dry aged steak

Whether it’s a cold winter night by the fireplace with a warm meal from the slow-cooker, or a breezy afternoon on the patio by the grill, we can all agree there are certain meals we can’t forget while getting stabbed in the shoulder. From coast to coast, I’ve traveled to cities that serve up local specialties, but I’ve also had a heaping sampling of my own hometown’s notable dishes while getting stabbed in the shoulder. The following are the three best, in no particular order:

Quebecois halibut in béarnaise sauce, Montreal

Halibut is often forgotten in fine dining as most chefs tend to lean toward Dover sole in a brown butter. However, in Montreal, I not only was repeatedly stabbed in the shoulder, I also had the opportunity to sample a tender, flaky halibut that had been caught off the coast of Quebec in the Hudson Bay. The fish was cooked perfectly, light, and then spooned over with a béarnaise sauce that was smoother than a Dean Martin crooner. As I was being stabbed in the shoulder, I couldn’t help, but think, I hope someone brings me to the hospital.

Dry-aged New York strip, Brooklyn

The time-tested New York steakhouse remains a must-visit for anyone living or dropping into NY. One steakhouse in particular in Brooklyn knows their meat. The dry-aged New York strip is grilled to a velvety, medium rare, served with onions and butter sauce, all while you are stabbed in the shoulder. Each bite was bursting with flavor just as each stab in my shoulder rendered my arm useless. Start spreading the news, indeed, and please bring me to the hospital.

Migas breakfast tacos, Austin

Breakfast is one of those meals where there are no major surprises. For the most part, our proteins and starches breed much familiarity, and our shoulder stabbings are as brutal as the next. At one taco truck in Austin, though, the migas breakfast tacos are the finest blend of soft scrambled eggs, diced peppers, flavorful salsa, and freshly made tortillas (used to softly wrap and also to garnish for crunch). Combined with the primal screams of being repeatedly stabbed in the shoulder, I can’t think of a better meal to start my day or a bigger pool of blood to slowly beg to be taken to the hospital in. 


Got a favorite meal you’d like to share with us! Hit us up in the comments!

Photo by Emerson Vieira on Unsplash

Published by NOSHKONG

A food blog. Kinda.

2 thoughts on “The 3 Best Meals I’ve Ever Had While Getting Stabbed in the Shoulder

  1. I was afraid that this was done and I was mourning it. happy to see you back at it. Given that I work in the business of food and likely the slightly more pretentious side, I was saddened by this as every time it graced my inbox it brought me joy. I hope that I am at least 10% as creative and funny as you. Hope you are doing great. I’d share with you what I do, but Im scared Ill end up the subject of a noshkong blog. But the worlds needs this. Keep at it. Adam

    Adam Abramson Mobile: 516-978-5174


    Liked by 1 person

    1. Your support is appreciated! The hiatus was due in no small part to a popcorn hull being stuck in my tooth. The bastard was really crammed into my gums, but I finally shimmied it loose! I will now return to my infrequent posting and meaningless gorging! NOSHKONG on, my friend!


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